Truth

Dear Myself

  You know the truth as it hurts. I ask myself where are my friends and you tell me there gone but some will come back. I ask you what happen to my relationship and you tell me " It wasn't good for you anyways. In season your soulmate will come.
  I have many questions but you always have answers for me. I even try to make the negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
   I see great things in people but they seems to feed off of my energy but some how I do the opposite of what I say. Then you come along and tell me keep going you will find the road.
   I never did until now. I never notice my mistakes until now. I see things that I wish I saw sooner.
 Now I'm alone and no one can fix that.
I'm always the fixer when it comes to other people. I see my life as to stressful why bring in a mix of other problems. Maybe I view them as problems when maybe they could be good for me.
  I put to much pressure on myself that I barely understand why.
I try and count my dots and cross my T's but some how I slip and I feel terrible when I mess up.
  I know I'm missing out on great things but I can't seem to get pass the things that hurt. I know crazy right and unreal but I will make it another night I think.
Tomorrow should be better then this day. I'm sure of it as I will hopefully tell you again later on in the day, something have to change.



Love,
   
    Myself.

Dear Myself: been a while

Dear Myself: been a while: Dear Myself  I haven't written to you for a while which seems a  little crazy since I talk to you all the time. I have been lost for a...

been a while

Dear Myself

 I haven't written to you for a while which seems a  little crazy since I talk to you all the time. I have been lost for a couple of days debating about my next move. Trying not to be stress out about, well life since I need to make sure my baby gets attention as well from me.
  I can't believe it I will be gone from her for 9 hours for the next 3 days. I feel said as I can't take her with me to work. I guess it's easier to work a night job or a job that works around your hours but pay less. I know I'm missing out on great amazing things but I must work.
  I will find away to balance everything out again.
I'm sure am tired and I can't wait until Thursday get here, I know I will be free from work plus my interview and I can relax with my babies.
   Life is hard but I'm sure you already know that,

love,
  Myself

Update of life

It's been a minute but let me give you a update of my crazy Journey.
  So far I'm trying my best to not be upset with things I can't change. My kids are great and growing that I can barely believe it. My job still sucks at times but I'm still there. Winter will probably be here soon but I rather it not : (

  Things has change as I'm trying to change my financial situation and make my credit score great. I'm going to meet with a councilor about school. Take one step at a time and start with Medical Assistant front or back not sure yet but I have until next Fall. After that we shall see what's next after that.
  I'm at peace in somewhat in my life but I'm still learning and growing. This world is changing that I can barely keep up but I do what is right and try my best to not get caught up in this world.

  That's my update and now I'm going to enjoy the rest of my Sabbath and drink my tea in quite until baby Z gets up.





My Journey My Life