A hard day

Dear myself

  I know today was hard for you. Leaving again on a Sunday as you want to spend the day with your kids. Friday through Saturday you make sure you keep the lords day where you don't go out from sun down to sun down. Teaching them about yah and relax and remember the feast.
  Now you see yourself drowning and you keep it to yourself.
  You seem stress as you try to figure out away to save for school to winter clothes and pay a bill but money goes.
  Eating out will have to be less. No one understands  how hard you are working to get a better life. To finally do something you might enjoy.

  Deep down I know you want to stop. Not go anymore but you have to.
Its scary, it makes you nervous and you dont want to fail again.

  Keep telling yourself that you can. Even if your not happy at work or where you at keep on a smile. You know Yah will open a door soon.
  Keep going
I promise you will be happy at the end.




Love,

Myself

Dealing with life

Dear myself
 It's been a while. To long that it's been hard coping with life. It feels like shit most days and others it feels like I'm just living. I hope that makes since someway.
  I told you I would find a new job but I'm still looking: (
  Can't seem to find the one that fits my life style. It's not easy leaving a job for another. Of course at work I want to be silent because I have to much going on.
 I'm think about what's going to be for dinner to kids and will I have enough money to buy the snow gear to paying bills that work drama I sure don't want.
  Wanting to go back to school seems to be a struggle because I have no idea what to take and money.
  Wanting to leave my job because I'm tired of pretending to be happy when I'm miserable.
  Finally taking a moment to cry in silence feels so good letting it out.
  Tomorrow I will have to put on my joyful face and do it again.
  Maybe tomorrow we will talk more if I'm not to tired.