Dear Myself
 I have completely failed  of not calling my baby daddy. I have to admit I was very lonely  and wanted someone to talk to on this late night but more importantly I wanted someone to share this moment of seeing babygirl up with smiles. He would appreciate how I  feeling when she makes me smile.
  That being said and after it was dome with as we talked a little I want to pop myself upside the head and say " What where you thinking?"
  No diapers or whips from him. And he said he would be sending her something....suppose to come tomorrow, we shall see.

 Somehow I need to boost myself back up or keep myself occupied. I even have been feeling lazy on the weekends where I just want to chill and relax. I know I can relax and I'm going to the park I think since we all are still up and I'm hoping we leave in the morning before it gets to hot.

  I need to work on my self esteem or something as my baby fat seems to fall off slow and I'm trying to figure out my clothes for work as going back is close and I want to cry. Even pumping seems to be a challenge.

 I just need ti.e a lone in a quite area to just think....hmmm library seems promising.