Dear myself,
You have made a choice and now you are moving forward. I tell myself it's okay to not get everything right. Its okay to seek some understanding or ask others.
Now I have some clarity I'm moving forward. This season is not going to be easy nor I'm unsure if my plans will work but somehow some of it will.
Thank you for listening
Love
Myself
Friday, November 2, 2018
Sunday, October 28, 2018
Truth
Dear Myself
You know the truth as it hurts. I ask myself where are my friends and you tell me there gone but some will come back. I ask you what happen to my relationship and you tell me " It wasn't good for you anyways. In season your soulmate will come.
I have many questions but you always have answers for me. I even try to make the negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
I see great things in people but they seems to feed off of my energy but some how I do the opposite of what I say. Then you come along and tell me keep going you will find the road.
I never did until now. I never notice my mistakes until now. I see things that I wish I saw sooner.
Now I'm alone and no one can fix that.
I'm always the fixer when it comes to other people. I see my life as to stressful why bring in a mix of other problems. Maybe I view them as problems when maybe they could be good for me.
I put to much pressure on myself that I barely understand why.
I try and count my dots and cross my T's but some how I slip and I feel terrible when I mess up.
I know I'm missing out on great things but I can't seem to get pass the things that hurt. I know crazy right and unreal but I will make it another night I think.
Tomorrow should be better then this day. I'm sure of it as I will hopefully tell you again later on in the day, something have to change.
Love,
Myself.
You know the truth as it hurts. I ask myself where are my friends and you tell me there gone but some will come back. I ask you what happen to my relationship and you tell me " It wasn't good for you anyways. In season your soulmate will come.
I have many questions but you always have answers for me. I even try to make the negative thoughts into positive thoughts.
I see great things in people but they seems to feed off of my energy but some how I do the opposite of what I say. Then you come along and tell me keep going you will find the road.
I never did until now. I never notice my mistakes until now. I see things that I wish I saw sooner.
Now I'm alone and no one can fix that.
I'm always the fixer when it comes to other people. I see my life as to stressful why bring in a mix of other problems. Maybe I view them as problems when maybe they could be good for me.
I put to much pressure on myself that I barely understand why.
I try and count my dots and cross my T's but some how I slip and I feel terrible when I mess up.
I know I'm missing out on great things but I can't seem to get pass the things that hurt. I know crazy right and unreal but I will make it another night I think.
Tomorrow should be better then this day. I'm sure of it as I will hopefully tell you again later on in the day, something have to change.
Love,
Myself.
Dear Myself: been a while
Dear Myself: been a while: Dear Myself I haven't written to you for a while which seems a little crazy since I talk to you all the time. I have been lost for a...
been a while
Dear Myself
I haven't written to you for a while which seems a little crazy since I talk to you all the time. I have been lost for a couple of days debating about my next move. Trying not to be stress out about, well life since I need to make sure my baby gets attention as well from me.
I can't believe it I will be gone from her for 9 hours for the next 3 days. I feel said as I can't take her with me to work. I guess it's easier to work a night job or a job that works around your hours but pay less. I know I'm missing out on great amazing things but I must work.
I will find away to balance everything out again.
I'm sure am tired and I can't wait until Thursday get here, I know I will be free from work plus my interview and I can relax with my babies.
Life is hard but I'm sure you already know that,
love,
Myself
I haven't written to you for a while which seems a little crazy since I talk to you all the time. I have been lost for a couple of days debating about my next move. Trying not to be stress out about, well life since I need to make sure my baby gets attention as well from me.
I can't believe it I will be gone from her for 9 hours for the next 3 days. I feel said as I can't take her with me to work. I guess it's easier to work a night job or a job that works around your hours but pay less. I know I'm missing out on great amazing things but I must work.
I will find away to balance everything out again.
I'm sure am tired and I can't wait until Thursday get here, I know I will be free from work plus my interview and I can relax with my babies.
Life is hard but I'm sure you already know that,
love,
Myself
Saturday, October 6, 2018
Update of life
It's been a minute but let me give you a update of my crazy Journey.
So far I'm trying my best to not be upset with things I can't change. My kids are great and growing that I can barely believe it. My job still sucks at times but I'm still there. Winter will probably be here soon but I rather it not : (
Things has change as I'm trying to change my financial situation and make my credit score great. I'm going to meet with a councilor about school. Take one step at a time and start with Medical Assistant front or back not sure yet but I have until next Fall. After that we shall see what's next after that.
I'm at peace in somewhat in my life but I'm still learning and growing. This world is changing that I can barely keep up but I do what is right and try my best to not get caught up in this world.
That's my update and now I'm going to enjoy the rest of my Sabbath and drink my tea in quite until baby Z gets up.
My Journey My Life
So far I'm trying my best to not be upset with things I can't change. My kids are great and growing that I can barely believe it. My job still sucks at times but I'm still there. Winter will probably be here soon but I rather it not : (
Things has change as I'm trying to change my financial situation and make my credit score great. I'm going to meet with a councilor about school. Take one step at a time and start with Medical Assistant front or back not sure yet but I have until next Fall. After that we shall see what's next after that.
I'm at peace in somewhat in my life but I'm still learning and growing. This world is changing that I can barely keep up but I do what is right and try my best to not get caught up in this world.
That's my update and now I'm going to enjoy the rest of my Sabbath and drink my tea in quite until baby Z gets up.
My Journey My Life
Sunday, September 30, 2018
A hard day
Dear myself
I know today was hard for you. Leaving again on a Sunday as you want to spend the day with your kids. Friday through Saturday you make sure you keep the lords day where you don't go out from sun down to sun down. Teaching them about yah and relax and remember the feast.
Now you see yourself drowning and you keep it to yourself.
You seem stress as you try to figure out away to save for school to winter clothes and pay a bill but money goes.
Eating out will have to be less. No one understands how hard you are working to get a better life. To finally do something you might enjoy.
Deep down I know you want to stop. Not go anymore but you have to.
Its scary, it makes you nervous and you dont want to fail again.
Keep telling yourself that you can. Even if your not happy at work or where you at keep on a smile. You know Yah will open a door soon.
Keep going
I promise you will be happy at the end.
Love,
Myself
I know today was hard for you. Leaving again on a Sunday as you want to spend the day with your kids. Friday through Saturday you make sure you keep the lords day where you don't go out from sun down to sun down. Teaching them about yah and relax and remember the feast.
Now you see yourself drowning and you keep it to yourself.
You seem stress as you try to figure out away to save for school to winter clothes and pay a bill but money goes.
Eating out will have to be less. No one understands how hard you are working to get a better life. To finally do something you might enjoy.
Deep down I know you want to stop. Not go anymore but you have to.
Its scary, it makes you nervous and you dont want to fail again.
Keep telling yourself that you can. Even if your not happy at work or where you at keep on a smile. You know Yah will open a door soon.
Keep going
I promise you will be happy at the end.
Love,
Myself
Saturday, September 22, 2018
Dealing with life
Dear myself
It's been a while. To long that it's been hard coping with life. It feels like shit most days and others it feels like I'm just living. I hope that makes since someway.
I told you I would find a new job but I'm still looking: (
Can't seem to find the one that fits my life style. It's not easy leaving a job for another. Of course at work I want to be silent because I have to much going on.
I'm think about what's going to be for dinner to kids and will I have enough money to buy the snow gear to paying bills that work drama I sure don't want.
Wanting to go back to school seems to be a struggle because I have no idea what to take and money.
Wanting to leave my job because I'm tired of pretending to be happy when I'm miserable.
Finally taking a moment to cry in silence feels so good letting it out.
Tomorrow I will have to put on my joyful face and do it again.
Maybe tomorrow we will talk more if I'm not to tired.
It's been a while. To long that it's been hard coping with life. It feels like shit most days and others it feels like I'm just living. I hope that makes since someway.
I told you I would find a new job but I'm still looking: (
Can't seem to find the one that fits my life style. It's not easy leaving a job for another. Of course at work I want to be silent because I have to much going on.
I'm think about what's going to be for dinner to kids and will I have enough money to buy the snow gear to paying bills that work drama I sure don't want.
Wanting to go back to school seems to be a struggle because I have no idea what to take and money.
Wanting to leave my job because I'm tired of pretending to be happy when I'm miserable.
Finally taking a moment to cry in silence feels so good letting it out.
Tomorrow I will have to put on my joyful face and do it again.
Maybe tomorrow we will talk more if I'm not to tired.
Tuesday, July 31, 2018
Come to Far
Dear Myself
You have come to far to stop here. I know you want to drop everything and just be comfortable where you are but you can't.
It's time and it's been a long wait.
You always wanted what everyone had. The basics of living styl.... now you are grown and over time you gotten wiser....life has changed.
you are not done with your journey. Keep going as you go on this long walk of life.
You were given another breath to do what was suppose to be done.
Everyone travels but at a different pace. Some fast some slow or in between. Some will never make it there and some will.
Your travels has been slow but now it's speeding up but this time be careful what road you take.
Do you but don't forget to actually do it then just say it. If you fail try again.
Your wiser now so go for it : )
Love,
Myself
You have come to far to stop here. I know you want to drop everything and just be comfortable where you are but you can't.
It's time and it's been a long wait.
You always wanted what everyone had. The basics of living styl.... now you are grown and over time you gotten wiser....life has changed.
you are not done with your journey. Keep going as you go on this long walk of life.
You were given another breath to do what was suppose to be done.
Everyone travels but at a different pace. Some fast some slow or in between. Some will never make it there and some will.
Your travels has been slow but now it's speeding up but this time be careful what road you take.
Do you but don't forget to actually do it then just say it. If you fail try again.
Your wiser now so go for it : )
Love,
Myself
Thursday, May 10, 2018
GOOD LUCK
Dear Myself
Time is going and it's time to get serious. You have been looking for love for far to long. Even when you arrive to the mountains you still was looking for a change. Something different and fun. Out of your character while you figure out who you are.
Time went but you end up in the same spot.
Letting go of the past is the best way to move forward.
Yes I know it's hard. You will cry and want to run backwards because it's safe.
Stay strong and fight the fight.
At night cry all your tears out. You will have your quiet time.
Remember....you are trying to get somewhere better then where you are at now.
GOOD LUCK
Time is going and it's time to get serious. You have been looking for love for far to long. Even when you arrive to the mountains you still was looking for a change. Something different and fun. Out of your character while you figure out who you are.
Time went but you end up in the same spot.
Letting go of the past is the best way to move forward.
Yes I know it's hard. You will cry and want to run backwards because it's safe.
Stay strong and fight the fight.
At night cry all your tears out. You will have your quiet time.
Remember....you are trying to get somewhere better then where you are at now.
GOOD LUCK
Sunday, April 8, 2018
Not be Scared
Dear Myself
Don't be scared to do what is right. Yes you will have people leave you or not like you but you must follow your heart.
Things will change as the world is changing. People might not understand what you do as you follow Yah as you cry for them.
You have to make BIG decision as time will come when you will do what is right and follow your intuition (okay maybe not your heart)
You already been through a lot so what is to come will and should not faze you.
keep on walking in the faith, follow is commandments and read for understanding.
You don't have much long so get right with the most high and smile!!!!! Because he loves You!!!'
Don't be scared to do what is right. Yes you will have people leave you or not like you but you must follow your heart.
Things will change as the world is changing. People might not understand what you do as you follow Yah as you cry for them.
You have to make BIG decision as time will come when you will do what is right and follow your intuition (okay maybe not your heart)
You already been through a lot so what is to come will and should not faze you.
keep on walking in the faith, follow is commandments and read for understanding.
You don't have much long so get right with the most high and smile!!!!! Because he loves You!!!'
Thursday, January 11, 2018
Dear my life
Dear Myself
Have you finally put on some make up and start to look well pretty...haha no...well hell no sorry for that bad word but it had to be said. My dear life as been up and down as my oldest child feels sick *headache) and a project is due next Friday plus two days of work...darn we got to get this done!!!
It will be ok as your hair is a bit crazy and barley have time to take a shower(5min.) come on its life as a mother and don't fake it like you never had your hair looking crazy..Running around trying to keep up with kids..school..work and yourself.
So...take a break and take a long bath with bubbles : ) and listen to calm music as you soak it all in.
Don't forget to give your kids a bath today and make there lunches to night.
Myself
Have you finally put on some make up and start to look well pretty...haha no...well hell no sorry for that bad word but it had to be said. My dear life as been up and down as my oldest child feels sick *headache) and a project is due next Friday plus two days of work...darn we got to get this done!!!
It will be ok as your hair is a bit crazy and barley have time to take a shower(5min.) come on its life as a mother and don't fake it like you never had your hair looking crazy..Running around trying to keep up with kids..school..work and yourself.
So...take a break and take a long bath with bubbles : ) and listen to calm music as you soak it all in.
Don't forget to give your kids a bath today and make there lunches to night.
Myself
Saturday, January 6, 2018
Letting self go?
Dear Myself
You are letting yourself go again. I know it's hard waking up in the morning to get things done ( motherhood ) it's okay to get some blush on or some black underliner with red lip gloss or lipstick on to look like a grown up. Your finally 30 and you need to look 30 which is some how impossible for you. ( which is great) Sooner or later people will realize your kids are your kids not your parents and you will feel a little better and please DO YOUR HAIR!!!# Im just saying the ponytail is getting old and your hair straight down need some curl as you are still waking up from feeding in the middle of the night....get some coffee and drink it all!!!#
It all will be good : )
You are letting yourself go again. I know it's hard waking up in the morning to get things done ( motherhood ) it's okay to get some blush on or some black underliner with red lip gloss or lipstick on to look like a grown up. Your finally 30 and you need to look 30 which is some how impossible for you. ( which is great) Sooner or later people will realize your kids are your kids not your parents and you will feel a little better and please DO YOUR HAIR!!!# Im just saying the ponytail is getting old and your hair straight down need some curl as you are still waking up from feeding in the middle of the night....get some coffee and drink it all!!!#
It all will be good : )
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)